My child is 10 to 12 welcome

You have a pre-teen and with that there are many new adventures and challenges you might face as a family.Cartoon of father and son holding a football and smiling.

It is important to continue to build positive bonds with your child as they grow and start to get closer to becoming a teenager. Spending time with your child helps them to continue to fill secure, loved and safe.

In this section we have put together some information, we hope will help guide you.

 

If you have any concerns, make sure you talk to a healthcare professional such as your GP. 

You can contact the 0-19 admin hub by live chat by clicking here or by giving the team a call on:  0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

If you have any concerns or are worried about how you are feeling please don’t hesitate to contact The Mental Health Number where helpful Mental Health Navigators are on hand to support you, signpost you to help for you.

Immunisations in secondary school

Immunisations in secondary school

Immunisations in secondary school

The school nursing team offer the following vaccinations in secondary school.

We also like to record vaccine refusals from both young people and parents to ensure their health records are update and to identify any concerns that are highlighted. If you are unsure about having the vaccinations or if you would like to discuss anything further call our admin hub 0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

HPV vaccinations in Year 8 (2 doses, 6 months apart)

HPV vaccine All 12 and 13-year-olds in school Year 8 will be offered on the NHS the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine. 

It helps protect against cancers caused by HPV, including: 

  • Cervical cancer
  • Some mouth and throat (head and neck) cancers
  • Some cancers of the anal and genital areas

As well as protecting against 90% of genital warts. In England, girls and boys aged 12 to 13 years will be routinely offered their HPV vaccinations when they're in school Year 8. It's important to have both doses to be protected.

Men ACWY and DTP (Diphtheria, Tetanus, Polio) vaccinations in Year 9

Men ACWY vaccine  This is given as a single vaccine and protects against four different strains of meningococcal bacteria that cause meningitis and blood poisoning (septicaemia): A, C, W, and Y.

3-in-1 teenage booster (DTP) The teenage booster, also known as the three-in-one or the Td/IPV vaccine. It is a single vaccine given to boost protection against 3 separate diseases: tetanus, diphtheria, and polio.

This Immunisations for Young People Guide outlines and explains these vaccinations and why they are needed.

Flu vaccine

The children's flu vaccine is offered as a yearly nasal spray to young children to help protect them against flu.  Flu can be a very unpleasant illness for children, with potentially serious complications, including bronchitis and pneumonia. Vaccinating your child will not only protect them against flu but will also help protect more vulnerable friends and family by preventing the spread of flu.

The vaccination will be given by a quick and simple spray up the nose. This is offered at your GP surgery.

You can find more information here Children's nasal flu vaccine (yearly)

When will the vaccinations take place?

Immunisation dates:

  • HPV vaccinations
    • Dose 1 - June to July (year 8)
    • Dose 2 - April to May (year 9)
  • Flu vaccinations: October - December
  • Teenage booster vaccinations:  Feb- March.

The school nursing team will visit your child’s school once to offer the vaccinations. A consent form (paper or e-consent) will be sent home approximately two to four weeks prior to the planned immunisation session. (For exact dates of Immunisation sessions please check with your child’s school calendar.) 

Who delivers the vaccines to my child?

School Aged Immunisation Service deliver the routine national immunisation programme to school aged children. This includes children who may be home schooled, and others not in school.  

Vaccine consent 

What consent is needed for my child to have a vaccine?

Consent for vaccinations is initially required from parents. The decision to have the vaccination is legally the young persons. However, the Immunisation Practitioner would much rather have the parents’ permission as well. If we do not receive a completed consent form before the vaccination session, we will look to offer the young person the opportunity to self-consent on the day (secondary school vaccinations only). This is in line with the Gillick Competency Framework.

I do not consent for my child to receive the vaccine

Please be assured if we receive a written refusal of consent, we will not vaccinate your child. However, we do have a duty of care to advise your child where they may be able to access the vaccine if they choose to have it later. 

What happens if my child has missed the vaccination?

School Aged Immunisation Team  can also provide catch up clinics for any child or young person who missed the above vaccination in school.

If your child has missed their immunisation in school or is home educated, you can bring them to one of our community immunisation clinics. We have clinics across county, and you can book into any clinic that is convenient to you. Please contact us on 0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-5pm)

Minor illnesses

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Minor illnesses

As your child goes through life it is likely they will suffer from a minor illness. Usually these illnesses sort themselves out on their own, but it is important when your child is feeling poorly you keep an eye on them.

You should let your GP know if you have any concerns or questions.

Information on colds, coughs, and ear infections

Information on Diarrhoea and vomiting

Information on Fever

Whilst most minor illnesses do get better on their own it, the NHS website has a list of other common illnesses and how you can treat them.

You can contact the 0-19 admin hub by live chat or give the team a call on:  0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

Nutrition and physical wellbeing

Nutrition and physical wellbeing

Nutrition and physical health

Children should be encouraged to eat a variety of foods from the Eatwell plate the same as the rest of the family.

You are their role model. If you are an active family who include a healthy diet and healthy habits this is something they will see, and learn from.

You can contact the 0-19 admin hub by live chat or by giving the team a call on:  0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

ACTIVITY

Children should be getting at least 60 minutes of activity per day. This can be done in one go or broken up across the day. Being active has so many social, emotional, and physical health benefits.

It’s great to be active as a family and there are lots of things you can do together locally. We have some wonderful country parks, swimming pools and cycle routes to try.

DENTAL HEALTH

Avoid sugary food and drink before bedtime. They should be consumed less often and only at mealtimes. Try sugar free, diet or no added sugar drinks. Remember, plain water or lower fat milks are best.  It’s free for kids under 18 to visit NHS dentists, so make sure you take them regularly.

Make sure your kids clean their teeth twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste. Help them brush once before bed and once at any other time that suits you and your family.

What should they be eating?

Your child should be encouraged to eat a variety of foods from the Eatwell plate the same as the rest of the family.

The four main food groups are:

  • bread, other cereals and potatoes
  • fruit and vegetables
  • milk and dairy foods
  • meat, fish and alternatives (such as eggs, pulses – peas, beans and lentils – nuts and soya).

There is no need to buy portion sized foods as this is more expensive and unnecessary. 

Sugary foods and drinks are not advised, but if they do have them occasionally, try to eat at meal times rather than as snacks. This will be better for their teeth and dental health is very important at this stage.

Meals should be based around starchy carbohydrates for energy, such as bread and pasta.

Avoid giving salt at the table and takeaway foods and cooking with salt.

Children at this age should be drinking tap water as it’s the best option to quench their thirst and won’t damage their teeth. However, milk or diluted fruit juice (half and half) can be offered as an alternative. Stick to full fat milk until 2 years old and then semi-skimmed can be drunk.

Other useful resources

Start 4 life
This website provides trusted NHS help and advice during pregnancy, birth and parenthood.

The Eatwell Guide
The Eatwell Guide is one of the most well-known tools to follow for recommendations on eating healthy and achieving a balanced diet.

Start active, stay active: infographics on physical activity
Infographics explaining the physical activity needed for general health benefits for different age ranges.

Puberty

Puberty

Puberty

Your teenager's brain undergoes lots of changes and rewiring during puberty which may mean their feelings and emotions can feel, and can be, a bit out of control.

It’s important to allow them time to express their feelings and emotions, whilst also keeping boundaries in place.

During puberty, your teen is more likely to be dominated by their feelings rather than logical thinking so trying to encourage mindfulness and resilience is important. We know that this can feel hard, keep trying and keep communicating with them.

There are lots of resources to help parents and young people talk through these changes. It is important to stress the changes are “normal” and happen to everyone, just that we cannot predict when these will occur.

 

Parenting teenagers can be a challenging time for parents and carers.

Young people want more freedom to explore their environment and friendships but as parents we want to keep our children safe. 

The Relate website has some useful information and tips on talking to your children around a full range of issues from relationships to drugs and alcohol and managing behaviours.

The BBC created the Operation puberty video which helps to answer some questions around puberty.

We would also recommend the Health for Teens website for your to explore with your young adults.

Responsive parenting

Responsive parenting

Responsive parenting

As children grow up and they start school they might seem moodier, more sensitive, or just more tired than usual. Your child will be going through emotional changes in learning how to sit still and concentrate for long periods of time, learning about authority that is not parental and will also be feeling new emotions.

Parenting can be a challenge, and you won’t always get it right, but by being open and listening you help to build a trusting relationship with your child.

If you are worried you can contact the 0-19 admin hub by live chat or by giving the team a call on:  0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

You can access all the NHFT Wellbeing videos on our YouTube playlist.

Challenging behaviours and reward charts

Building a positive relationship with your child is the best way to help them develop positive emotional wellbeing. Sometimes it is difficult to understand why your child may display certain behaviours such as anger or being destructive.

It is worth taking time to take a few moments to think about what happened before the situation, during and after.  This can help identify what is triggering the behaviour and provide ideas on what to do differently to reduce the chance of the behaviour occurring.  It can also be useful to consider what you were feeling and thinking at the time but also what your child was feeling and thinking.

Reward charts can work well with children for the age group of five to seven – ensure children receive “reward points” for small, realistic achievements and that the rewards at the end of the week / set time are something that provides positive re-enforcement. I.e. choosing an extra bedtime story, choosing their favourite meal or a game to play. When using reward charts, rewards should not be removed once they have been earned.

Other elements to consider:

  • Think about online activity and behaviours that children maybe witnessing through games and videos and how they may copy these (link into safety tab)
  • Have clear rules about important matters (but keep to a minimum) be a positive role model by following these yourself
  • Give more attention to your child when they are behaving sensibly rather than when they are behaving badly
  • Look for the good things to praise, not criticise
  • NEVER let them get what they want by misbehaving

Reacting to challenging behaviours 

So what can you do to help make sure you react calmly in situations where your child may be presenting with challenging behaviours?

A useful tool suggested by NSPCC is to Take 5. This process encourages you as a parent to stop, breathe and react calmly even in the situation of your child screaming in the middle of a supermarket, for example.

Watch the NSPCC video from other parents, their experiences, and the suggestions they make on how to deal with challenging behaviour calmly.

Why do we lose control of our emotions by Kids Want to Know

Other thoughts, feelings and behaviours videos from NHFT

Thoughts, feeling and behaviours video

Early warning signs and our fight / flight / free response video

STOP Method video

Problem solve and set goals

Other support services

  • ChildLine is a service provided by NSPCC. Children and Young People can talk to a counsellor on line or on the phone about almost anything  0800 1111 
  • Lowdown offers counselling and emotional wellbeing services Northampton
  • Service Six offers counselling and emotional wellbeing services Wellingborough
  • Time2Talk offers counselling and emotional wellbeing services Daventry and South Northants
  • The Mix offers mental health support for under 25s
  • Young Minds offers information and support for children and young people's mental health
  • Youthworks offers counselling and emotional wellbeing services Kettering and Corby

Safety

Safety

Safety

Having a child and keeping them safe can feel like a full-time job. Once they are on the move, it might feel like they are walking towards all the risks and you are running up behind them trying to protect them.

By being aware of what is in you and your child’s surrounding area you can help to reduce risk and keep them, and you, safe.

You can contact the 0-19 admin hub by live chat or give the team a call on:  0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

Dial 999 for an ambulance if your child:

  • stops breathing or turns blue
  • is struggling for breath
  • is unconscious or seems unaware of what's going on
  • will not wake up
  • has a fit for the first time, even if they seem to recover.

ACCIDENTS AND PREVENTION

Accidents happen, and it can feel like they happen so fast they feel impossible to stop. However, by keeping your wits about you and being aware of possible risk you are helping to make it more likely that the accident won’t happen in the first place.

Accidents can come in all different ways and types including:

  • Burns and scalds
  • Choking
  • Drowning
  • Falls
  • Strangulation
  • Suffocation
  •  Accidental poisoning

The NHS website has some useful information and top tips to help you keep your child safe.

If your child has an accident it is important to know what to do and when you need to seek medical advice, the NHS website  has a long list of information including where you can learn basic first aid on their website

Safety and pets

It is important from an early age to teach your child to respect the pets you have at home, Teaching them how to stroke gently, not to tug, pull, chase or grab the animals you share you space with, will help to keep them safe. For tips on keeping children safe around your family pets take a look at the BBC’s Teaching kids to care for animals article.

SUN SAFETY

Keeping your child safe whilst they are in the sun is important to protect their skin from the sun’s harmful UVA and UVB rays. Without sun safety and sun protection, sun burns, and dehydration can occur, and these can cause some serious issues for your child.

Here are some tips you can use to help with sun safety:

  • If your child is going to be exposed to sunlight use a sunscreen with a minimum 50 SPF rating to protect them.
  • If you are taking your child out in their pram do not cover their prams with any type of material as this can be very dangerous.
    When a pram is covered it prevents the vital movement of air around your child so the air, they breathe out is the same air they breathe in. Without this movement of air, they will be breathing in a higher percentage of carbon dioxide, leaving them with less oxygen and potentially causing them to struggle or stop breathing.

If you have any questions or would like some more information regarding sun safety and your child, you can ask your health visitor or GP for advice.

Here is a list of additional resources:

ROAD AND TRAVEL SAFETY

Car seats

All children must use a car seat until they are 12 years old or 135 cm (whichever happens first).

The recommendations for the car seat position and type of seat change as the child grows and develops. The legal requirements for car seats can be found on the GOV.UK website. Specific safety advice relating to the car seat you have must be followed in order for it to work effectively.

Keeping walking safe

When walking near a road it is a good idea to:

  • hold your child's hand - don't let them run ahead
  • look out for and encourage your child to be aware of hidden entrances or driveways crossing the pavement
  • put reins on a younger child if they're not strapped in a pushchair
  • make sure your child walks on the side of the pavement away from the traffic
  • Never let your child go near a road alone or even with an older child.
  • Never let children play on driveways.

Children are usually not ready to crossroads on their own until they are at least eight years old - and many will not be ready even then.

Bicycle safety

Cycling is a fun, healthy, environmentally friendly, and cheap so is a great option for getting around.  To stay safe on your bike be considerate of the following:

  • Access ‘Bikability’ either via your child’s school or find a local provider - this is a free training package for children and young people using their bikes on the road.
  • Wear a good quality well fitted helmet to protect your brain if you fall off your bike and hit your head.
  • Before you set off make sure your bike is in good working order testing the brakes and ensuring tyres are pumped up.
  • Plan routes to make sure you are choosing the safest route, and that the child will be able to handle.

Sleep

Outline of a crescent moon

Sleep

Sleep is an essential part of any child’s growth and development. It promotes growth, strengthens immunity, helps with cell repair and healing, and maintains physical and emotional health.

Your child will need between 9 to 11 hours of sleep.

Getting good quality sleep is an important part of how your child might act during the day including their mood, wellbeing, ability to learn and retain new information.

If you have any concerns or queries, you can contact the 0-19 admin hub by live chat or give the team a call on:  0800 170 7055 (Mon-Fri 8am-6pm).

Good Sleep hygiene

Following good sleep hygiene tips can encourage your child to sleep well at night-time. Good sleep hygiene can be divided into five main areas of routine:

During the Daytime

  • Spend at least 30 minutes a day outside.
  • Have regular exercise such as playing in the park, cycling and / or attending an organised activity such as football or trampolining.
  • Ensure exercise happens early in the day or directly after school. Avoid letting your child get exciting over activity around 4 hours before bed.
  • Naps usually fade out at aged 3 years. Avoid naps after 2pm as this may affect your child’s ability to fall asleep at night.

Before Bedtime

  • No more than an hour before bed, close the curtains and dim the light.
  • During the hour before bed, turn off the TV, introduce calming activities such as reading a story, puzzles, colouring or listening to soothing music. Music that is only played at bedtime, helps to reinforce the association that it is nearing the time to go to sleep.
  • Make sure your child is not hungry before bed. Offer a light supper such as warm milk and wholemeal toast or a yogurt. Avoid foods or drinks containing caffeine such as chocolate, coffee, tea, and cola, particularly in the late afternoon and evening.
  • Do not return to the lounge (or daytime room) after the evening bath. This provides an environmental cue to your child that it is ‘time for sleep’. 
  • It is important to maintain a consistent routine every night. This helps to strengthen the association with sleep and strengthen the body clock.

The Bedroom

  • There should be no electronic equipment in the bedroom.
  • Prepare the bedroom for ‘sleep’.  Ensure the room is quiet and dark and free of clutter.
  • Ensure the bedroom temperature is comfortable. Between 16-18 degrees is an ideal temperature.
  • All toys should be put away or covered.
  • A comfortable bed is important.
  • Keep lighting low, avoid main lights.
  • Environmental noise should be kept to a minimum.
  • Remove any nocturnal pets that may interrupt sleep.

Bedtime and wake-up time

  • Set a bedtime to be maintained every night that is age appropriate to your child
  • Maintain a consistent sleep time and wake time 7 days a week. This strengthens the body clock.

Settling your child

  • Once the routine is complete, avoid extending the bedtime routine, for example, one more story or one more cuddle. Say a magic phrase, such as ‘time for sleep’.
  • Turn out the light- the door may be left ajar if needed.
  • Leave your child to settle alone.

 

Useful information

Sleep Action

The Sleep Charity

Books:

Sleep Problems in Children and Young People: A Simple Teaching Aid
DrYemula.C.Roberts.A.(2014) . Health Insights 4U Ltd.

Sleep problems in children and adolescents: the facts
Prof.Stores.G.(2009)  Oxford University Press.

My emotional wellbeing

White outline of a raincloud

My emotional wellbeing

Having a child is a whirlwind of emotions that don’t always feel like they make sense. You can love them wholeheartedly and sometimes you just feel overwhelmed.

If you are feeling worried, sad, or depressed talk to your healthcare professional such as your GP or call The Mental Health Number on 0800 448 0828.

You are not alone in these feelings and it is important to share them.

If you are struggling with your mental health, you can contact services such as our NHS Northamptonshire Talking Therapies or 24/7 Mental Health Number.

The 0-19 Administration Hub can be contacted by:

  • Live Chat (Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm)
  • Phone (Monday to Friday, 8am – 6pm) 08001707055 Option 4

Our ten tips from NHS Northamptonshire Talking Therapies

We have some advice on how you prioritise your health and wellbeing; and ensure that you can take some time out today, or any day for that matter, to focus on you.  

  1. Talk to someone and stay connected, sometimes just talking and contacting another person can make you feel much better. This can be a relative, a friend or a professional.
  2. Try to organise a sleep routine, go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time. Sleep is important to your wellbeing even if the normal structure and routine you once had has been disrupted.
  3. Try to write down three positive things a day you have achieved. These do not need to be big as sometimes just posting a letter is an achievement.
  4. Take a breath, breathe in for 7 seconds and out for 11 seconds, this will refocus you and give you space.
  5. Get outside, go for a walk, or stand in your garden just take in some fresh air; ensure you see daylight once a day during your allotted exercise break. Given all the pressures, make sure you have time for yourself.
  6. Set some small goals for your day that are achievable to give you a sense of purpose.
  7. Eat regular and healthy meals to ensure your body is well fuelled.
  8. Make sure with all the juggling of extra roles, that we no longer expect miracles of ourselves, we are trying to do more in abnormal circumstances, with often less support.  On any given day, our best is good enough and our best will be different on different days; that’s okay, that is normal.
  9. Discover mindfulness apps on your phone, they can provide useful techniques.
  10. Most importantly be kind to yourself, it's okay not to be okay during these very difficult times.

The Changing Minds IAPT Team are a self-referral service so please do feel empowered to reach out if you need our help.

Toileting

White outline of a flower

Toileting

Sometimes our bladders and bowels can misbehave and in children, it is really common for them to have difficulties with constipation (inability to regularly open our bowels or completely empty our bowels) or wetting during the night. When looking at causes for bladder and bowel difficulties we always assess the two together as they can sometimes be connected.

There are some brilliant resources for parents out there including:

In the first instance, we would always recommend the following when trying to support your child with any bladder or bowel difficulties:

  • Drink at least 6-8 drinks per day – encourage your child to drink each drink within 15 minutes - children in this age group should aim to drink between 1200mls – 1800mls per day (avoid fizzy and caffeinated drinks)
  • Certain drinks can make bladders misbehave, keep a diary and try to avoid these drinks where possible
  • Encourage children to wee every 1.5 – 2 hours
  • Encourage children to fully empty the bladder when going for a wee
  • Encourage boys to sit down to wee
  • Take spare clothes into school if needed
  • Check for a urine infection
  • Encourage children to drink their 6-8 drinks in the daytime and not before bed
  • Encourage children to go to the toilet if they wake in the night – consider torches/night light to help them if needed
  • Encourage children to help change bedsheets if they wet the bed
  • Ensure your child does not drink 120 minutes before bedtime
  • Encourage a screen free bedtime routine with minimal lighting to sleep in
  • Always encourage your child to go to the toilet before bedtime
  • Encourage children to sit on the toilet for 5 minutes after every meal (try 20 minutes after eating breakfast)
  • Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables
  • Keep active – lots of running and walking
  • Encourage your child to think positively 

If you still need support with regards to your child’s bladder and bowel difficulties, please call us via the Admin Hub on 0800 170 7055 option 4 or via our Live Chat on our website.

Video resources

Video resources

Video resources

Emotional coaching for parents

The emotion coaching sessions are split into four different sections:

Mindfulness

NHFT videos:

Other organisation videos:

Find out more about Action for Happiness:

Thoughts, feelings and behaviours

NHFT videos:

Other organisation videos:

Understanding emotions

NHFT videos:

Why is sleep important?

NHFT videos:

Find out more about sleep with the following organisations:

Autism or ADHD assessment

The following explains videos the process for professionals and parents of children who are seeking an autism or ADHD assessment for a young person, from our Children and Young People ADHD & ASD Service